youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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