508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
