Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Quick, to the slutcave!
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize