Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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