I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
We need to get me chipped asap
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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