Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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