Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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