how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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