So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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