Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
