well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
