Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize