Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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