I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
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