East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
