Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize