im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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