Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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