i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
