Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
