I'm so fucking centered right now
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
