so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
