Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize