so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
