You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
