Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Randomize
