she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
