at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
