then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
