Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
