Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
