Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
