Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
