he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
