I don't think brook has ever known best
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
