yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
When are your genitals available?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
