This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize