I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
