I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
