Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I have so many feelings about this burrito
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
