would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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