If i could tip my vagina, i would.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
