just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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