Its about making memories worth repressing
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
