his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize