Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
