Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
ttyl tear gas
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
