i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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