Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize