speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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