So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
