You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
