god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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