I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
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