Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
