oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
