Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
The ass gains better be worth it
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