Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He had one of those small greek statue penises
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
