God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
