For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
