We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
