im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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