he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
