Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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