i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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