I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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