Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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