Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Semen is not good for contacts.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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