i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
he was CRYING into my vagina
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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