Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
